


Bruise

by the_realduck



Series: Burn, Bruise, Break [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 03:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_realduck/pseuds/the_realduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pillow in which he was lying face-first smelled faintly of Phil’s shampoo, and when Dan lifted his head a bit and squinted with one eye, he confirmed that he was in Phil’s bedroom.</p>
<p>Oh god.  </p>
<p>Oh fuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruise

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shiT you guys, your response to my last fic was incredible?? Wow, I've never gotten such positive responses before, just wow. Since you all asked for a second part, here it is!

At first Dan didn’t notice.

His head was pounding a bit; not unbearably so, but enough to make him bury his face into the pillow to try and escape the morning. His mouth tasted slightly terrible, a telltale sign that alcohol had been consumed. The details of the night before were fuzzy, but Dan was trying to focus more on willing himself to feel better.

Which was when he realized that he was definitely not in his own bed.

The pillow in which he was lying face-first smelled faintly of Phil’s shampoo, and when Dan lifted his head a bit and squinted with one eye, he confirmed that he was in Phil’s bedroom.

Oh god.  

Oh  _fuck_.

The ache of oncoming panic seeped slowly into his chest. He immediately began to rack his brain for what had happened the night before, but all that he was met with was a throbbing at his temples. The more he became aware of his surroundings, the more he felt a jittery, anxious coil form within him.

As he inhaled deep breaths, Dan tried to calm himself enough to crawl out from under the blue and green blanket. As soon as he was upright though, he was hit with a wave of nausea. He groaned quietly, and then winced at the noise, cursing himself for drinking on a mostly-empty stomach; he knew better than that.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan saw his reflection in the full length mirror. His clothes were rumpled and his hair had started to curl at the ends, but that wasn’t what his eyes were focused on.  His gaze was caught on the dark bruise at his throat, right above his collar bone.

The syrupy memories became less muddled as he stared at the mark, the ghosts of soft lips and warm hands edging at the fringe of his mind. The alcohol, the heartache, giving up and creeping into Phil’s bed-

Dan let out a hiss as his fingers moved without his consent to prod gently at the bruise, a sharp spike of arousal shooted through him at the hint of pain.

He avoided his eyes in the mirror, and forced his hand away. Instead of trying to think things through immediately, Dan tried to focus on the moment, and decided that he needed a shower.  

As silently as possible, he exited Phil’s room, stopping only to grab a t-shirt and sweatpants from his bedroom before he continued down the hallway.

A noise came from the lounge, spiking Dan’s heart rate as he clutched his bundle of clothes closer to his chest; a freak out was impending, and right then he just needed some privacy.

Once the bathroom door was shut and locked behind him, Dan dropped his clothes on the counter, finally letting in the shame and embarrassment that hit him in droves. Fuck.  _Fuck_ , what had he been thinking, of course something like that would happen. Something like that always happened when they got drunk together; Phil became more handsy, all low tones and pointed looks, and Dan...he just wanted. He wanted Phil constantly, in any way that he could get him. It wasn’t the first time that they’d fallen together with the aid of alcohol, but the previous night had been much way more than a few fumbled kisses and shy brushes of hands. Dan had let his mouth run away with him, and Phil would be able to remember every damn word.

Everything started to click in his mind, and Dan clutched the edge of the counter top as his head filled with the too-vivid memories of long kisses and fingers on skin; his whispered words against Phil’s mouth.

_Why don’t you want me anymore?_

Shit.

He scrubbed a hand through his curling hair; he shied away from that particular memory, the feelings to raw to be poked at. Although nothing major had happened, as he knew Phil would never take advantage of his drunk self, he still felt flayed open by the crushing embarrassment from his words and actions. It had been so long, so fucking long, and he was going to have to teach himself to try and forget all over again.

Instead, he mustered up the courage to meet his reflection in the mirror.  He looked rough, clearly, with eyes slightly red around the edges. His hair was a mess, lips still redder than usual due to the kissing. The thing that captured his attention again though, was the bruised smudge at his collarbone.  He brought his fingers up to press lightly at the red mark again and shivered at the low thrum it set off in his body.  

Dan swallowed hard. He already knew that he’d be brushing against the bruise constantly for the next few days.  

He finally got in the shower, and hoped that the water could wash away some of the icy panic that was still flaring in chest.

~~~

Showered and dressed, Dan stood in the kitchen. He was absently fixing a mug of coffee when he heard a small shuffle of footsteps behind him.

He froze for a second, suddenly terrified to turn around and look at Phil; instead he grabbed a nearby sugar packet and stirred it into his coffee, even though he normally drank it black.

“Morning.” came softly from behind him.

Dan cleared his throat before he replied, “Morning.” His voice sounded strained even to his own ears. He realized that he could only stall for so long with the sugar, so he gathered his courage and slowly turned around.

His gaze immediately dropped to the black and grey lump that Phil held, and raised an eyebrow.

“Is that my duvet?”

Phil’s eyes dropped to his neck before they darted away just as quickly, and looked down at the blanket in his hands before meeting Dan’s eyes.

He nodded sheepishly, and replied, “Yeah, um, I couldn’t really get back to sleep after...uh.” He stopped, as if he couldn’t find the words, and Dan actually felt himself flush. “After...yeah.” Phil continued. “I didn’t want to wake you, so I just went into the lounge.”

Dan nodded, the heat still across his cheekbones.  His fingers clutched the handle of his mug so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. There were so many things that he could say, so many questions he could ask, but all he really wanted to know was, what now?  This was different, this was so far from normal, even for them; Dan wanted this, wanted Phil so bad but he didn’t know if he could make himself say the words, because even though he’d been nervous and guilty all morning, he still couldn’t quite kill the small flicker of hope.

He opened his mouth to say something when Phil interrupted.  “I’ll just go put this back, yeah?”

Phil made to leave the kitchen and Dan was overcome by the need to say something, anything, so he quietly muttered one word.

“Phil.”

Everything fell silent. The two men stood at opposite ends of the room and Dan thought his heart was beating so hard that it actually might burst out of his chest at any moment. Phil hesitated for a moment before he turned and looked Dan in the eye.

Right away he knew. He could see the desperate plea in those familiar blue eyes, and he felt his heart drop straight to the floor. That was it. The conversation was over before it even began, he’d been given his answer.

So he just gave a small nod to Phil, who seemed to breathe a small sigh of relief before he disappeared into the hallway, and left Dan alone in the room.  

He took a gulp of his coffee, which was still too hot and burned his tongue. Dan breathed in sharply; the aching sting of tears threatened behind his eyelids, but he blinked them away.

_Alright_ , he mouthed, to test the word out, before he whispered it into the open air.

“Alright.”

(It wasn't.)

**Author's Note:**

> *cringes* Sorry!  
> There will be one more part to this series.  
> Again, your feedback is loved! This is only my second attempt at phan, so I hope it's alright!


End file.
